Express Yourself

Sometimes in life we find ourselves in compromising positions. Situations in which we feel trapped and vulnerable. Events that occur, leaving us stifled and rejected. Our emotions tend to control our thought process and sometimes even our ability to express our true intentions, heart-felt desires or even our dismay toward someone/situation.

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship of any sort in which the other person has absolutely no concern for your life?

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who literally controls the dialog and when it comes time for your input, they just disregard it?

Have you ever loved someone and was too afraid to tell them for fear that things would change?

Have you ever been in a situation to where someone has made you feel belittled, and yet you didn’t have the courage to stand up for yourself?

Have you ever chosen to not express your true feelings because you’re afraid the other person will think you’re stupid?

If you answered yes to any or all the above questions, it’s time to sprout some balls (yes, females too, hehe) and be who you ARE!


Feelings Are Never "Wrong"

It’s perfectly natural to feel as though you can’t say what you want to say; for fear that you’ll cause more damage than good. It’s one thing to constantly ridicule someone or criticize someone’s life because his or her situation or the way they look doesn’t suit you. That’s just ridiculous! When it comes to expressing dismay toward a family member, friend or lover regarding wrong doing or being treated badly, there’s nothing WRONG with explaining how you feel. You HAVE to let them know how their words and actions are effecting your self-esteem and the relationship.

Remember that your feelings are NEVER WRONG. They may not be in alignment with other people, some or all the time, but if you hold them inside nobody will be able to understand your point of view. Being OPEN and UNDERSTANDING to other people’s thoughts and opinions is the first step to having great communication.

We’re not telling you to CHANGE the way you feel to appease someone else’s Ego, but we are saying that you need to be open to their opinions just as you’d like them to understand yours in effort to compromise, if need be.


Fear

Fear is the #1 reason why people CHOOSE to not express their emotions and desires. My mother always used to say, "Try it; you might like it" to my sister Laura who is EXTREMELY picky when it comes to food. If she doesn’t like the smell or look of it, she won’t even bother because she fears the taste will be exactly how it looks. As silly as it sounds, the same goes for expressing emotions. It’s important to take the chance that someone may not agree with your point of view, just so you’re not stuck with the negative energy that holds you back from reaching the next step on your path.

Fear equals failure. The minute you allow fear to take over your ability to tell someone how you feel; you’re just allowing yourself to live in a small box without holes, therefore no air or light will be able to come through. Like attracts like. If you constantly fear a negative end result of expressing yourself, that’s absolutely what you’ll receive in return. You may be surprised at the actual end result when you DO voice your opinion.


Avoiding Confrontation

There are many reasons why some people avoid confrontation. I used to be that way. I always used to FEAR that my opinion wasn’t good enough or it may hurt someone else’s feelings. That changed when I met someone who was afraid to express his or her feelings to ME. Wow, what a reality check. That whole situation made me take a long, hard look in the mirror. My God! I was guilty of the same thing they were and I didn’t even know it!

Here are some reasons why people avoid confrontation:

I don’t want to feel belittled

Nobody does, but if you ALLOW someone to make you feel that way, you’re just as guilty as they are. Yes, some people get their jollies off making people feel stupid and having complete control over someone. Never let anyone control your ability to be who you are. Never allow someone else to control the zipper that resides on your lips.

I’m afraid I’m not articulate enough


Everyone’s communications skills are different. Some would say that I’m not very articulate, but I don’t care. I am who I am and I speak the only way I know how. I’m sure I could brush up on my skills, but I wouldn’t be unique if I sounded like everyone else.


I won’t get what I want anyway

You’d be surprised. Keep thinking like that and you’ll never go anywhere, let alone getting what you want from a particular person or situation. Again, like equals like. If you’re not open, the person at the other end won’t be open either.


I’m tired of hearing how "wrong" I am

Look, we can’t be right all the time. In relationships, there isn’t always a right or wrong way to do things. People are people and we all have different opinions. If someone says you’re wrong, that’s just his or her OPINION and sure you need to respect it, but please, let’s not allow that to sustain our way of thinking. If you’re tired of hearing "You’re wrong, you’re wrong" from a certain person, maybe y’all are not supposed to be in a relationship.


My opinions are just silly

They are? Then by all means, make me laugh because I need that on a consistent basis. Feelings, thoughts and opinions are NEVER WRONG because THEY’RE YOURS.


I don’t want to be criticized anymore

Sometimes criticism is good. It helps us learn and grow. If you look at criticism as "suggestions", you’ll stop fearing other people’s opinions of you. Maybe you just might get a stronger backbone! Some people criticize for that very same reason. Of course, there are always the punks who get and Ego boost from making someone feel less than human. So what? Obviously they have issues, not you so please don’t ever let someone demean your personal affinity.


I’m a lover, not a fighter

Me too, but I can’t always avoid conflict. We’re human beings, not robots programmed for perfection. You can be a lover and still fight for what you believe in. Sometimes fighting can turn out to have a great end result, depending on the subject matter and the personalities involved.


I don’t want to hurt the other person

Sometimes the truth hurts, let’s face it. We can’t be shiny, happy people all of the time. For example: You are in a friendship with someone and they’ve expressed a romantic interest in you. You don’t feel the same. Ok. You HAVE to be honest with them! If you’re not interested in them, please, for the love of God, DO NOT lead them on in any way. Be direct about it and stop dancing around the issue. They may not be please about it then, but later they’ll be grateful they didn’t waste time, spinning their wheels in the wrong direction.


Assuming

Have you ever held emotions in so long that you just burst out with the information during a fight with someone? That happens a lot, but did the other person say, "OMG! If I would’ve known you felt that way, I would’ve stopped doing that a long time ago?"
Assumptions, assumptions. If you don’t express yourself, how WOULD they know you felt that way? Not everyone uses their telepathic ability and those who do can’t possibly use it 24 hours a day! Like I said before, if you stop being afraid to say what you feel, you’d be surprised how many negative situations could be avoided and how much better you’ll feel about yourself!


The Child Within

Children are so expressive. They are absolutely fearless. Well, with the exception of "the dark" and monsters. We need to revive the child within. If the kid doesn’t like asparagus, he or she will tell their mother it was gross without any hesitation what so ever. Yes I understand that children aren’t usually tainted by society until they start school, but why allow adulthood to change who you are and how well you express yourself?

We can’t always make nice with every single person or situation that enters our path. Remember that things happen for a reason and it’s usually to teach us a lesson or regain karmic balance from past lives. With all of this in mind, you’re still very much in control of how you view life and how you communicate with other people.