In April this year I started The Joy of Manifesting Life series with a specific goal in mind. I wanted to see if I could manifest things for people who were not in my immediate family or circle of friends. I really thought the process would be simple.I wasn't prepared for the outcome of this system. My intention was to create a fun way to test the Law of Attraction. I thought I'd be laughing along with those people I was trying to manifest for, but instead God shot me the middle finger and shoved a gigantic mirror in my face. Each day I was forced to deal with a facet of myself I assumed I had left behind. Pieces of past situations were staring back at me as if to say, "Hey asshole! I'm still here. Did you think you could just ignore me and move on with your life?" Yeah, that was a real joy to say the least, but isn't that what I called my journey? The Joy of Manifesting Life.
Don't we all just assume that joy means happy? It does, but we probably shouldn't assume that every little thing we do in life will bring us joy right now. Everything I had to deal with from the time I started on this path until now has brought me joy. It's also taught me tough lessons, challenged me to see or do things differently and most importantly, reminded me to be grateful for what I have staring me in the face daily and that's true love.
From August 20th to September 12th Mercury was in retrograde. I don't know much about that stuff so I did a little research. Apparently we're prone to going back in time to reassess our lives, amongst other things. Certain events came up to the surface and I became emotionally vulnerable for a couple of weeks. Since I believe these things come out for a reason and that's usually for unnecessary crap to be expelled from our lives, I decided to embrace those moments as opportunities for growth.
I still had some rough edges that needed to be polished. I've been carrying a type of attitude that wasn't working for some people in my life and I had no idea I was acting that way. Apparently it wasn't consistent, but this vibe came out often enough to be cause for concern. When these things happen with me, I take the time to figure out the origin and again, it was my childhood that reared its ugly head. Hence the asshole comment from earlier. Once I got to the bottom of my attitude problem about certain things, the next big epiphany slapped me upside my head.
I still have trust issues.
Damn. I thought I had taken care of that one, but noooooo. Only parts of me were healed and it was painfully obvious that a lot more work had to be done. (*sigh*) Okay, here I go again!
It's funny how all the big stuff decides to show up right around the beginning of the Fall season every year. Like the retrograde, Fall Equinox tends to bring upon these types of epiphanies, so I've been told. As I've said, this happens to me every single year, but I feel like this one is different. I can't explain it. It's just this feeling I have or intuitive hit as I usually call it. I feel like I can't control anything going on around me, yet I manifested every single one of those events. It's like the God force just came down and swept away all the unnecessary bullshit I had dealt with in the past then transformed my reality into what it's supposed to be. I can't complain about that, now can I?
One of the things we all have in common is our desire for happiness. True happiness. This journey has pulled me out of a normal existance and reminded me of who I really am, who I'm supposed to be right now and allowed change into my life once again. I swear it's as if I'm going through emotional menopause. No hot flashes, but hormonal imbalances are included as a feature in this game called "Get your shit together, damnit!"
To be happy for real, we must be...
- honest with ourselves
- comfortable in our own skin
- accountable for our choices
- accepting of other people and their choices (doesn't mean you have to like them)
- able to trust our intuition and be willing to follow it
The items on that list are not suggestions. They are imperative actions one must take to ensure a successful outcome with anything in life. Though these concepts seem simple, they are difficult to maintain. I've learned to give myself a break and not beat myself up so much when I slip. As long as I stay consistently aware of myself and those actions, my chances of being happy are much greater then if I do nothing at all.
Letting go has been my God, my angels, my spirit guides and my stairway to happiness. If I could not let go of the unnecessary toxins in my mind, body and spirit, I wouldn't be able to say this:
My journey with The Joy of Manifesting Life has come to an end.
I'm ready to move on to bigger and better things.
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