We're always looking for that greener grass and a lot of times we find it. When we do, it's either too prickly for us to graze or our little fantasy picnic goes awry, especially when we're in reaction mode.
This became true for me when I thought I'd try something new professionally. I didn't realize how lucky and truly blessed I was until I temporarily changed course. Now don't get me wrong here. Expanding yourself and embarking on a new challenge is never a bad way to go, especially if you feel as though you're stuck in the sand(or quicksand for some).
I didn't feel stuck really, just a little bored and without much inspiration where my career was concerned. I swear I felt lead to this new avenue, but when I arrived all I got in return was feeling unappreciated, overworked and extremely frustrated. That particular experience has brought me to this epiphany:
Be grateful for what you have. If you're not, you won't be able to attract what you want.
I thought I was practicing an attitude of gratitude daily. I thought I had taken the appropriate exit and turned on the right street. I thought I was doing what was best for me. Guess not!
Keep in mind that I've always believed the above epiphany to be true, but this time it seems as though God came through and nailed me in the head with a frying pan. Good grief! I can't believe I lost it somehow. I can't believe I allowed myself to get caught up in something I KNEW (ages ago)wasn't truly the best thing to do for myself, but did it anyway. How many times am I going to ignore my intuition before I finally have 100% faith? Damn.
After I got my ass whooped by the almighty God, I decided to take a breather for a bit and analyzed some of the other stuff that was a source of frustration for me. I got my (small) list together and became proactive in killing them off, one by one. I only have a couple of things left and I started this process about 2 1/2 weeks ago, yay!
So now that Fall will officially begin this Friday, I'm back to my annual clean-up. This is where I chuck all the old emotional, physical and spiritual baggage. Right now I'm focused on the physical. I still have boxes laying around from March '10 when we move into this house. I'm dying to get rid of it all. That and the old clothes us 5 have that no longer fit and/or we never wear. I just got rid of a ton of baby stuff too, which has lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.
This year I don't have a lot of emotional garbage going on so not much to do there, but I have been better with forgiveness, yippeee!
I've got a shit-ton of spiritual stuff I've neglected in the last few years so once all the physical crap is cleared, I'll be ready to take care of it.
I think this transition, though slow in my mind, has been quite productive for me. I like the feeling of becoming more centered, refocused on my goals and finding more balance. Frustration does have a way of lighting a fire under my booty. I'm just grateful I noticed...
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