I'm sure you've thought, "Damnit, I should've listened to myself! I knew this was going to happen" at least a dozen times (if not more) in your life, right? Yep, another lesson learned the hard way, but it doesn't have to go down like this anymore!
Here are some easily recognizable ways to detect a drama creator and/or potentially harmful situation before it occurs...
Change In Attitude and/or Questionable Behavior
It's not healthy to judge someone's behavior on a daily basis. They may be having a bad day, month or year. They could be ill. They could be suffering from loss. If none of those situations are present and you're noticing a sudden change in attitude toward you and/or aren't treating you the same as they have in the past, it's time to question the circumstances. If you don't feel like confronting them, don't. Wait, watch then take action. Sometimes taking action means walking away. Don't overlook the red flags!
They Gossip About Others To You
This is a big one. If you notice your "friend/acquaintance" is gossiping about others, especially to you about folks you don't even know, it's time to bounce. Other people's lives are NOT your business and the second you get involved with something like this you are guilty by association. The truth always comes out and this poor behavior will surely backfire.
Most people engage in gossip for the following reasons:
- They're trying to get on someone's good side
- To defame someone's character
- To gain popularity the "easy" way
- Not getting what they want from another person
- Boredom
- To get attention
Their Demands Become Overwhelming
Are you experiencing an over abundance of calls and/or texts with demands for you or your or family members' time? If you say NO, does this person react poorly? Remember that you weren't born a servant. It's okay and very important to have a life of your own, especially one that doesn't revolve around just one person.
They Easily Anger When Not Getting Their Way
If you are dealing with a person who treats you horribly when they're not getting what they want from you, it's time to cut the cord. Chances are they were putting on an act and their true colors come out when dissatisfied with any outcome that isn't in their favor. They could also react by inflicting punishment. Sometimes they use the silent treatment, bark nasty insults your way or try to manipulate you into changing your mind. If this person cannot naturally compromise and treat you like a human, it's time to remove them from your circle immediately. You won't miss them, trust me on this one!
Another title for people who act this way is NARCISSIST. With my own experiences, research and speaking with many people who deal with these situations, I've come to the conclusion that narcissism is NOT a true mental disorder and is NOT treatable by medication. It is a choice and I feel that therapy can help train a narcissist to think and behave normally, but the rest is up to them. It's the equivalent to a "normal" person training their mind to not have a negative self-image.
The truth is though, NONE OF US are actually "normal" and we're certainly not perfect. When you follow your gut instincts about other people in your energy or personal circle, you will make decisions that are in your highest good. There's nothing wrong with cutting ties with another when you know you'll both be unhappy with the situation. It's okay to roll out if you know they're disloyal and will stab you in the back the second they need to save their own hide. If you're on the receiving end, respect others' feelings and allow them to walk away from you if that's what they want. They could be doing you a huge favor.
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