This ONE Thing

Over the last two weeks I took a lot of time to be alone with my thoughts.  While putting things in perspective I was able to connect a little better with myself and now I'm working on creating a new routine in my daily life.  I dropped the ball over the summer after I had that damn EP study.

The current focus is allowing myself every second of alone time available to achieve my personal and professional goals.  Unfortunately I haven't stood my ground with the other people in my life for way too long and that was the first thing I knew had to change if I wanted to be happy.  Everyone got used to me doing things their way and now I'm not so this is causing some issues.  I am in the "I just don't give a fuck" mode right now, but I am working on achieving balance.  I'll get there eventually.  If people don't want to hang out and wait, then they're free to bounce at any time.  It doesn't really matter to me anymore.  My friends are very supportive though and I'm grateful.

The last few months have been extremely stressful for me emotionally, which has blocked my creativity a bit.  On the flip side, my psychic abilities have gotten to some mad level of crazy that I cannot explain.  The clarity I'm getting for myself and others is seriously blowing my mind.  Details with predictions and having them come to fruition quickly is freaking me out.  It's exciting.  I think it's because Spirit is sending me people whose predictions are supposed to happen fast so that makes my job easier.  The down side is that I'm living with people who don't believe in me so I'm having trouble dealing with that.  This one is now a deal breaker for me.

Rhea and I were talking about friends and lovers not too long ago.  Both of us have had our issues with attracting quality.  It's like we're always having to tune in when we meet people to make sure they're not super huge assholes just waiting to suck the life out of us.  It's exhausting.  I haven't had to deal with that as much as Rhea though.  I think both of us have finally stopped expecting so much.  The truth is that there is less of what we want available because we don't learn from the positive shit, only the negative.

Right now I'm trying to deal with my need to have all the significant people in my life believe in me for who I am and actually like it.  I don't know why it hasn't happened for me yet.  This is definitely a goal I'm determined to achieve and I'll do whatever it takes, even if it kills me.  I cannot imagine that I'll be able to move forward happy without this one thing.  I can make concessions on almost everything else.  Even though I'm sounding quite picky about this, I can assure you that I'm not a high maintenance woman.  It's been frustrating, but I believe that someday I will get what I want AND need from my personal life.  I just have to hold on a little while longer, I think.