A Reason...
When I think about those relationships, the ones that pop into my head are those in the "very wise words" category. My ex-boyfriend Dave, for example. While in the relationship he said to me, "I think 'the one' is the person who annoys you the least." I even blogged about that one many years ago and it's still here.
Well that standard pretty much determined the demise of that situation since my first thought was, "Well I guess he's not it. I'm annoyed every single day!" LOL! If I were to ask him tomorrow, "How often were you annoyed with me while we were together?" I'm pretty sure his answer would be, "All the time."
Turns out we both married people much more tolerable. We should both be grateful that God thought we were worthy of folks who are willing and able to put up with our mountain-like piles of bullshit. Woo hoo! He's been in my life for many reasons and seasons. Not sure about lifetime as I'm only in my 30's. One of the biggest reasons was to get me back into a long-term relationship and also to propel me out of Michigan. Even though I was mentally plotting that move, I wasn't ready until the break-up. He also used my move as a means of moving forward as well.
It's so easy to play the victim after a break-up or when dealing with a no-win situation of any kind. Finding the spiritual lesson for a seemingly negative outcome doesn't come easy, especially since our emotions generally control our mindset. Forgiving that experience is a good way to start the process of moving forward. Gratitude is what you'll feel when it's complete.
A Season...
Most of us are familiar with the seasonal connections. You know, the people who come in temporarily then leave. We usually call them acquaintances. We may be strongly attached to them for a period of time then either they just *poof* disappear or we slowly remove ourselves for an unknown reason, never to return. A season can even be a 5 year stint.
There's usually a life lesson presented to us in those cases. The temporary connections are used as a place holder in time before the significant people or situations enter. Divine events are notorious with the seasonal connections. They are most definitely spiritual in nature and usually have a lot to offer someone in terms of seeing things as they really are.
I was living with a very unhealthy friendship for a few years. This person betrayed me in the worst possible way and what's more is that I saw it coming. What I didn't realize is that I made a fine impression on one of her family members. So much that this person contacted me years after my connection to them had ended. She was seeking my guidance and of course I gave it to her, without hesitation.
Even though my tie to this family was clearly over never to be revived, my actions during the time I was involved with those people remained on this girl's mind. She told me that I had earned her trust even though I wanted nothing to do with her family (really, just one person). I still think about her and pray she's doing well.
A Lifetime...
Another thing I've been focusing on lately is the obvious pattern I have in my situations....distance. I always seem to attract people who become close to my heart, but we live far apart. Some of that is my own doing since I moved to another state back in 2006. Even before that big leap of faith, I had connections all over the place. My friends Cyndall and MsRhea, for example. They and I have been very close for over 10 years now, but life got too crazy at times and we haven't been able to communicate every day like we used to.
It's nice to know that those friends (and some family members) don't get mad at me for not calling for a few months. When we reconnect it feels as though we spoke "just yesterday". You don't have to live next door to carry significant relationships with people. It's the good intentions and follow through that matters in the end. Showing them you give a damn means everything, even if it's only once in a while.
Life takes over. People get busy. Things change. It's the people who understand and can work with those facts who usually end up being lifetime connections.
So today I'm grateful for many people. Those who have entered my life, left and of course for those who remain. It can be difficult to remember why life is worth living when we feel alone or when relationships fall apart (or *poof* disappear), but there's always something we're missing when we choose to live in the "dark ages". If today isn't convenient, try lifting those shades and let the light in tomorrow.
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